Overtly Individual ... Covertly Traditional

[my music: Mary J. Blige ~ Without You]

This entry is mostly about me and one of my very best friends...

Let's start off by discussing the idea of truth. It can by quite the funny thing. Unless it means discussing the idea of truth with her mom, grandparents and 8-year old sister at dinner, and Jess decided that instead of waiting untill she is well out of college to tell her family about all of the crazy shennanigans that go on in college, she'd just tell them now... she then decided to include me in on that truth. Damn girl. So that was nice discussing the drunken habits of nineteen year old girls with a couple of elders that i had known for all of one hour. Right.

ps- El Coyote has wicked good guacamole.

now on to the topic... or rather recap of the crazy night at RBar. I originally wanted to go to the movies... but for Jess, that just wasn't exciting enough... so we decided at dinner (once again in front of her grandparents) that we were going to go to RBar in Milford. At first, i wasn't too happy with the idea being that i almost fell asleep in my plate of chimichangas... but i warmed up to it. When we got to RBar, it was nuts. First of all, the guys outnumbered the girls by like 4 to 1. Normally, a girl wouldn't mind that kind of number... but the guys were all skeevy & old. When we arrived, we went straight to the dance floor and no joke maybe 10 seconds after finding a place to dance, there were at least 4-5 guys around us trying ot dance with us... once again most of the guys there at the end of the night thought that we were lesbians... but that's ok. We kept dancing and everything, having a great time, but the guys were like freaking parasites. The highlight of the night though was def the catfight that took place in the middle of the dancefloor. Dude, i was totally shaking my thing to Yeah by Usher, then i got smashed in the back with a large black girl... Jess quickly grabbed onto my arm and jerked me toward the side of the dancefloor... there were a bunch of guys making a circle around these four girls that were just ripping each other apart... They were slapping, punching, hitting each other like there was no tomorrow and one girl ripped the shirt off of the other girl... It was insane... by the time that the bouncers actually came and tore it apart, there were weaves, earrings, bags and anything else you could possibly think of all over the place. Then the song ended, and i was pissed that i didn't get to dance to the whole thing, but it was ok cuz Run It by Chris Brown came on. The rest of the night was good... we danced... laughed... pushed guys away. When they played Sweet Caroline, we went NUTS! There were so many circles made around us during the night, but during that song it was insane... i hate guys sometimes. Whateva... we had fun, we sweated about 32 pounds off so that was good, and i'm glad we did that instead of going to see Annapolis.

ps- RBAR IS COMING TO NEW HAVEN IN 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the way to her house from school, we were discussing fate and love. Both of us believe that fate is something that is very real... everyone is fated to be with someone else... but it's not necessarily the first person that you fell in love with, or knew since the second grade. Even though there are somethings that are fated to be, we also believed that the person must do things for themselves and not leave everything to the powers that be...
Love though is something that both of us are struggling with lately. It's weird, but both of us are in similar situations with love. We both were involved with people for a long time and it was serious. But both of us also lost those relationships. No matter what, the love that we had was too strong for too long, but it's over now and we can't do anything about it. But to make matters a little more difficult, both of us are growing fondly attached to new guys. The both of them are strikingly different from our past boyfriends, but have seriously touched both of us deeply. And now, we just don't know what to do or feel anymore. The more we think about it, the more confusing it gets... The only difference in my situation is that things with my exboyfriend were settled a little more than hers was, the one that we shall call him eric from now on. Eric and I spent a good amount of time together over the winter break, and it was exactly what i had needed. We both established exactly how we felt instead of continuing with the fighting and false hating each other, and that meant so much to me. We will always love each other, and right now we know that we can't be with each other... and that closure and knowledge that the one who i loved so deeply didn't actually hate me the way that i believed that he did, actually made me feel like I could let it go. Now I am separated from the love that i will always have for eric and I can move on nicely.

Well my shoulder hurts, The Fifth Element is on, I am exhausted, we're dancing tonight, the girls want to go to the rat now, and I want chocolate...