It's kinda hard with you not around
Know you in heaven smiling down
Watching us while we pray for you
Every day we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where I'll keep you friend...
Everyone always says that life isn't fair, and you don't know what you have until it's gone. Well, tonight I felt it. Actually, I felt both, but not entirely the second one... You see, I believe that it wasn't fair to lose 2 of the most loving and special people in my life, but I knew what I had when they were still here with me. They were both amazing mothers, sisters, wives, daughters. One was my adorable, loving, giving, and absolutely hilarious Titi Evelyn whom no one will ever be able to compare to in my eyes. The other was my gorgeous, loving, sweet, one of a kind cousin and godmother Gina whom was nicknamed Missy for reasons that are older than me.
I'll never forget all those days and nights on Long Island at Titi Evelyn and Uncle Johnny's house... Some of my best childhood memories happened in that house. I'll never forget the white room with those (now to me hideous) maroon couches where we were basically never allowed to play because of all of Titi's glass and porcelain figures and collectibles. And how we were never allowed to eat or drink in the living room. Krissy and I used to play with our polly pockets in the sun room because the wood flooring made patterns like city blocks. She kept that house incredibly clean... The white carpeting was still white after more than 20 years of being in that house, the stove looked like it was never used, the pots and pans shone like they day they were bought. Dinner there was always fun... The adults at the dining room table or simply the kitchen table while krissy and I were always so excited to sit at the counter on those incredibly nifty bar stools. Holidays there were also always fun... titi's cooking was always amazing, and her gifts were always perfect... From all of the polly pockets she ever gave krissy and I, to pajamas that i had wanted or simply were exactly what I would want... Everything was always perfect with her. Her perfection spilled over from the way she presented herself, to how clean her entire house was, from her cooking to the pleats in her curtains. She was quite the perfectionist. And my god was she funny. With that random accent that no one can actually decide what kind of accent it was, she always had us laughing with the pronunciation of certain words. I'll never forget the time when we were at her old house and she had just changed Eyzayah and we were talking about weddings. She said how it would be so nice to throw "pebbles" at the bride instead of the traditional rice. Confused by this, Krissy and I stare at each other and krissy turns to titi and asked "Pebbles titi?" Titi, so innocently replied "Yeah, pebbles, you know from a flower." Krissy and I start laughing and Krissy said "you mean petals titi, PETALS." Laughing, and calling Krissy out on being the wise-ass that she is, titi took Eyzayah's rock hard (and full mind you)diaper and launched it full speed at Krissy's head. That was a night for the memory books. Even more than funny, she was perpetually giving. Every single time that we went to see her, we always left with something whether it was food, or jewelry, or perfume, or shoes. We were always leaving with something. And everytime we went to see her she always had something new to show off. She was quite the amazing woman. In my mind, she will forever be the aunt that I associate with elephants. That sounds mean, but there's a story behind it. When I was little, I had the hardest time pronouncing Evelyn, so I called her Titi Elephant and everyone used to make jokes of it. She used to also read Babar stories to me (I used to be OBSESSED with King Babar... i know, it's weird), but because of her accent, she said Babar funny, and I used to basically yell at her to say it properly. She's adorable.
I think though, that when speaking of Titi Evelyn, it is so important to talk about her relationships. First of all, she and her husband, my uncle johnny, they were absolutly amazing together. For as long as I can remember, they were the most fun couple. They were always joking around about anything and everything under the sun. He would poke fun at her, and she would play it off as him just being stupid. They were great to be around, the way that they interacted and just how they complemented each other so perfectly. My favorite relationship though to watch her in, was definitly the relationship that only sisters could have. She and my mother were the epitome of sisterly love. They joked around about things from their childhood, and were always telling me and my sisters stories of growing up with each other, and really showing us the importance of family and the unbelievably incredible bond that should exist between siblings and had to exist between sisters. From stories about how they used to color in their school pictures because they didn't like it in black and white, to arguing and laughing about what did or did not happen at random points in their teen years. No matter what the situation, they were in it together. Whether there was a loss in the family, personal struggles, a birth, any sort of celebration, or just getting together for no specific reason, the two of them made the most of every visit. They loved each other, and I hope that me and my sisters can turn out to have that kind of relationship when we grow up and eventually grow old together.
My cousin Gina was always gorgeous to me. She was this little lady with pouty lips, a smile to light up the darkest of skies, the best hair (whether it was brown or blonde, she always looked good), curves like the most dangerous of roads, and a butt that put Jennifer Lopez to shame. She was my godmother, but it was so much more to me that simply a title. I loved going to visit her when she lived on Long Island because she was always cool to me. when i was little, she was what I wanted to be when I grew up. When she moved to Florida, it was hard, but we still got to see her most summers. Each time, she was welcoming, and showing us around and taking us to the best restaurants. I'll never forget all those nights in her apartment hanging out and playing with her sons, and talking about everything under the sun. Even better was shopping. The times that we went to bayside and just walked around from shop to shop being girls... it was great. To the very end, she was gorgeous to me. She always has been and always will be.
Gina's beauty, loving nature, and spirit lives on still. It lives on in the form of 3 beautiful, amazing, and still innocent little boys. I love you Adonis, Dylan, and Kyle.
All i know right now is that life is too short to waste on hate and bitterness and distractions. The most important things are right there in front of you, you don't need to go looking for it. Family and true friends have always been there right in front of you, but won't be there forever. So, as with most people when they suffer a loss, I am urging everyone to not take any person, any day, any second, or any breath for granted. You may think that you always have tomorrow to tell your friends and family that you love them and how much they mean to you, but in one swoop someone can take them away from you... I had 2 incredible people taken from me without me recently telling them that I love them, so I'm doing it now because I know that somewhere they are looking down on me and knowing what Iam writing. Titi and Gina, you 2 were absolutly amazing people to me and every other person you've known. I love you both dearly and no matter what happens from here on out, I know that with every breath I take, I am closer to seeing you again... I know you guys will be looking down on us and keeping us safe. Thank you for the memories, and like everything great and beautiful you both were taken entirely too soon. I love you Titi. I love you Gina. Always have, and always will.
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