This is my cue...

[my music: Nightmare of You ~ Why Am I Always Right?]

You waltzed into my world blaring a puzzling confidence. cockiness. Why were you always so confident? I really don't know. I heard your voice, saw your lip ring, and remembered nothing else. You left, and i returned to my homework. Easy and simple. You came back over and over again. Pushing movie & tea nights, pushing conversations about art and music, pushing everything... and pushing nothing.

Stupidly i fell for you. I thought that you really cared about me... the way that you looked at me. The way that you bent down to kiss me. The way that you always cuddled me until i fell asleep and then went to bed because you can't sleep on your side. It was in the way you rubbed my back when we were standing with your friends. The way you sang and played your guitar. The way you played suspension for me and told me that's how you felt.

I want you to know that I'm not stupid. I am hopelessly naive at times, but I am not stupid. You always said you fell for me, but how does one pick themself up, dust themself off and find someone new so fast? You only wanted me for the chase. People said I was out of your league, so you wanted to show them that they were wrong. I was a prize. I was a goal. You got me, showed me off for a few weeks, proved that you won, and let me go. Congratulations Noah, you won. You want me to stick around for some reason, but this is where I gracefully bow out. Thank you and goodnight.

Poetic Break: Aching Bones

So basically forget the fact that I was going to post my London trip... no happening. I'm entirely too lazy to type up 3 weeks worth of journal entries... anywho... I am returning to writing poetry. yes. that is write. Samantha as a poet is back. Here is something that I wrote as part of a poetic composition class. The title is Aching Bones.

Once again I crawl back into your bed.
Naked, with my heart dangling on by a thread.
Tangled as one, our bones begin to ache
You're my one bad habit I cannot break.
Three months ago you decided to leave,
And for three lonely months, my heart did grieve.
I'm living everyday with your goodbye,
But we always come back, We don't know why.
The touch of hot skin reignites the flame
of previous years. Tell me you're the same.
You hold me like you did so long before
This time you are not mine. Of that I'm sure.
You're body's a playground for my fingers,
When the warmth is gone, the feeling lingers.
Pouty and clumsy lips I here to trace
Then you brush back my hair and kiss my face.
Tears build up, there's so much I want to say,
Like I love you, and wanted you to stay.
Scared, I just bite my tongue and stay silent,
And turn away from you -- my torment.
"I love you, but we can't make it right now"
you said. Agreement to this I avow.
This does not stop the pain I feel inside.
Perpetually, our hearts will collide
Until we learn how to stand on our own
Or grow old together with aching bones.