I'm a Wishful Thinker With the Worst Intentions

My photo
New York, United States
I'm a student, a sister, a daughter, a mentor, a friend, a lover, an enemy and your partner in crime. I love life, live it to the fullest, and am generally as satisfied as one insatiable girl can be.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Wherever you go, there you are

[my music: Gnarls Barkley ~ Crazy]

This summer has brought about many realizations. A huge one for me was where I have come from and where I intend on going in life. Growing up in New City, I thought life was simple awful, as it poses the same three activities to people under the age of 21; bowling, eating, and watching movies. But once this idea was repeated over and over in my head, i began to realize that what more is there to do after the age of 21. It is but the same 3 activities with the addition of 1 or 2 more possiblities; now not only can you eat, bowl or watch movies, you may now also go to a bar or lounge. Rockland offers quite a decent amount of bars and lounges to the 21+ residents, but in addition, the City is but 30-45 minutes away so many more opportunities lie there. The point is though, that not much will change after 21 years of life is reached. And this is the same for everywhere around the globe; how many activities are offered in New York City or Louisville Kentucky? There may be a few more activites in the City, and different types of activities in Louisville, but to the children and residents living in those parts of the country it all becomes routine and habit just as eating, bowling, and watching movies has become a routine and habit to the residents of Rockland County. New City, in my mind isn't that shabby of a place to live. It's decently wealthy, it's safe, and I did enjoy growing up here. I don't know if I want to bring my children up here, but I know that i no longer want to live in the City as a family woman. I have decided that I would much rather prefer living in New England. Whether it is in Connecticut or Massachusetts, I know that i would prefer living there. I love Amherst Massachusetts for some reason; I love Boston. I don't know. But no matter what I'll always remain a New York girl at heart.

I can't write anymore tonight, my eyes hurt.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The heartless are a most intriguing creature

Why were all of her decisions poorly made? She doesn't know. She layed there on a bed of aubergine silk pondering all that she had said, felt and done; she then realized how she had been like all of those other giddy girls who wore their heart on their sleeve before her. The very same girls whom she had ridiculed time after time in her mind. For so long she thought that she would be the in the dark without the comfort of a loving hand forever; so at the first sign of it, she latched on hoping for the happiness that she had felt what seemed like an years earlier. This hand though, wasn't ready to be held on to. so she fell... once she picked herself up, she had seen yet again that she had nothing to give this hand from the very beginning, so why feel as though wrong was done against her when she had no heart to give. No heart to be broken. He had done no wrong, and she does not want him to think any thoughts that may tell him otherwise, she was just too quick to care; too quick for her own good.

Friday, June 16, 2006

wow

[my music: Acceptance ~ Different]


this could be different
this could be all i'm waiting for

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

All Smiles....

[my music: Panic! At the Disco ~ London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines]

OK... tonight was successful despite NOT SEEING THE OMEN ON THE CREEPIEST DATE OF THE MILLENIUM...
so i didn't pay a cent at all for bowling or dunkin' donuts... mucho gracias to Leor, Alec & Garrett!! bowling was a success... 133 first game and a 120 the second... not amazing, but it made me happy. Saw Brian Donaldson tonight for the first time since freshman year of high school... interesting.
This weekend is gonna be amazing... camp orientation on saturday morning ((and i dont have to drive myself... i know... i'm a brat!))!!! i'm stoked for camp this year! Then spending the rest of the day with jess & patrick is going to be awesome!! qu sleepovers are my absolute fave! Then seeing Stini & god knows who else will be AMAZING!!!!!!!!! and to top all that QU love off with a little CHSS love, a certain someone is supposed to be back in town :D I love summer!


i'm all smiles tonight... now i'm gonna go read some shakespeare in preparation for LONDON!!! goodnight moon!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

50 Ridiculous Questions

[my music: Phish ~ Waste]

1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
A friend's house in Congers

2. Who will be your next kiss?
i don't know!!! that's the beauty of being single

3. What is the largest amount of money you've spent in a store?
hmm... tough one. I've dropped well over 200 a few times on clothes/electronics/jewelry

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
are ya kidding? This is me we're talking about... of course there's something pink within 10 feet of me

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
Saturday... for dinner & a movie

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
negative

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
out of new city: tonight... out of rockland: Friday

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
yep... just saw The Break-Up on Saturday

10. What was the last thing you had to drink?
organge juice

12. What are you wearing right now?
Victoria's Secret pj set of hot pink pants & a tank

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
car wash... duh

14. Last fast food you ate?
a double layer yellow cake with vanilla frosting... yummy

15. Where were you last week at this time?
this time? prob here in my room... either that or i was.... somwhere else

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
unfortunately no :(

17. When is the last time you ran?
umm... does running across a parking lot to Dunkin' Donuts cuz it was raining count?


18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Yankee/Red Sox today... duh!

19. What is your favorite class?
this past semester... def either media production cuz i got to make a kick ass music video, or media communications cuz the prof was amazing & my love was in that class

20. Your dream vacation?
Turks & Caicos with a boyfriend/husband

21. Last persons house you were in?
beside's my parents... steve's

22. How old are your parents?
hmmm... mid 50's

23. Are you in love?
NO

24. Do u miss anyone?
of course...

25. Last play you saw?
QU's production of Dead Man Walking in New Haven

27. What are your plans for tonight?
sleep?

28. Who is the last person you sent a message to on myspace?
i dont have a myspace... they're creepy

30. Ever go to camp?
Never as a camper... but def as a counselor

31. Were you ever an honor roll student in school?
duh!

32. What do you want to know about the future?
nothing right now... i like not knowing what tomorrow brings...

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Fuji Flower by Stacked Style from Sephora

34. Are you hungry?
kinda

35. Where is your best friend located?
my best friendS are in Pennsylvania, New York, Connecticut, Maine, New Hampsha & jersey

36. Who is your best friend?
jess, mich, stini, cass, em, court, tara

37. Do you have a tan?
kinda

38. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
late 20's early 30's

39. Do you collect anything?
i used to collect precious moments figures, freaking stupidly expensive glass decorative perfume bottles... but now i've graduated to jewelry :D

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
i've never been stopped or pulled over

42. Have you ever drunk your soda from a straw?
...what kind of question is that? yes i have.

43. How do you like your drinks?
what kind of drinks? regular or adult beverages? SPECIFICS PEOPLE! SPECIFICS!

44. Do you like hot sauce?
sometimes... on lo mein, hells yea

45. Last time you took a shower?
this afternoon

46. Do you need to do laundry?
yes and no... yes cuz i went through a lot of my fave things to wear, but i still have enough clothes to go through the rest of the summer without repeating a damn outfit

47. What is your heritage?
Chinese & Puerto Rican

48. Are you someones best friend?
i'd like to think so

49. Are you rich?
i'm comfortable

50. What do you think of the person who took this survey before?
He's kinda hot... not gonna lie! :P

Sunday, June 04, 2006

The tides change...

[my music: Rent Soundtrack]

It's raining again. I used to like the rain, but it rains differently here. So many things are different here. It's so strange to come back to the place that I know better than anywhere else on the planet and feel like a stranger all of a sudden. The last year has changed my life in more ways that i guess I realized when it was happening. I loved every second of it, but now that i'm home it's so different. For the longest time I wanted a relationship... i longed for that feeling of belonging again... but now I just can't. Maybe it's because it's just not the right person, or maybe I really am not a relationship kind of person anymore. That "right person" comment was not supposed to put anyone down or push them away, it's just how i feel. I can't handle being asked where I am and what I'm doing, i just cannot have anyone who is going to be keeping tabs on me. Not right now anyway. That will change, maybe in a month, maybe a week, maybe far far down the line. For this moment, I'm only 20, so let me go....